Post by The Golden Wolf on Apr 1, 2014 11:10:26 GMT -8
How's it going, everyone! The Golden Wolf here! And... by popular demand, I present my review of Pokemon X & Y. So yeah, I was originally going to make this a video review, but my editing computer is having issues, sooooo... here's the script instead. Anyway, is it the epitome of epicness or a broken abomination? Let's find out! This is my review of Pokemon X & Y.
STORY
Pokemon X & Y's story is just stupid. It's pretty much a terrible version of Final Fantasy XIII's story. Yeah. As if Final Fantasy XIII's story wasn't awful enough already. If you've played either game, then I don't even need to say anything. Yes, Pokemon has never been about the story, but in an effort to copy Square Enix, what we get is something incredibly half-baked. Even by the series' standards. If you like a story that's so bad it's almost laughable, play this game.
GAMEPLAY
Remember how much strategy was in Black and White 2? Well, it's all gone now! Gamefreak decided to take out all of the amazing strategic options, throw them out the window! These games have about as much strategy as those Gameboy primary colors. Basically, overload your team with Dragons, Fairies, and Psychics, and you automatically win! Did I mention these games favor Gen 1 more than their own generation? None of the Gen 5 or 6 Pokemon got Mega Evolutions!? Not cool, Gamefreak!
PRESENTATION
The graphics hurt my eyes! "Oh, but it's 3D, Wolf! 3D! Three dimensions!" You know what? I play this game for five minutes, and my head hurts! Maybe it's the gltiches, I don't know. The graphics are absolutely horrible even for a 3DS game! No rant can fully describe how much I hate the presentation in this game. Also, glitches. By the way, I looked up the word "garbage" in the dictionary. Apparently, the definition of "garbage" is the sound quality of Pokemon X & Y. So there you go. It makes nails on a chalkboard sound pleasant. Oh yeah, and there's glitches, too.
FINAL VERDICT
And now I present my final verdict on this game. Overall, I declare this game an absolute disaster. It doesn't even deserve a score, what with a story that's predictable and boring, gameplay that eliminates any and all strategy, and presentation that makes me want to murder a nearby kitten. In fact, this might even be... the worst game I have ever play--
STORY
Pokemon X & Y's story is just stupid. It's pretty much a terrible version of Final Fantasy XIII's story. Yeah. As if Final Fantasy XIII's story wasn't awful enough already. If you've played either game, then I don't even need to say anything. Yes, Pokemon has never been about the story, but in an effort to copy Square Enix, what we get is something incredibly half-baked. Even by the series' standards. If you like a story that's so bad it's almost laughable, play this game.
GAMEPLAY
Remember how much strategy was in Black and White 2? Well, it's all gone now! Gamefreak decided to take out all of the amazing strategic options, throw them out the window! These games have about as much strategy as those Gameboy primary colors. Basically, overload your team with Dragons, Fairies, and Psychics, and you automatically win! Did I mention these games favor Gen 1 more than their own generation? None of the Gen 5 or 6 Pokemon got Mega Evolutions!? Not cool, Gamefreak!
PRESENTATION
The graphics hurt my eyes! "Oh, but it's 3D, Wolf! 3D! Three dimensions!" You know what? I play this game for five minutes, and my head hurts! Maybe it's the gltiches, I don't know. The graphics are absolutely horrible even for a 3DS game! No rant can fully describe how much I hate the presentation in this game. Also, glitches. By the way, I looked up the word "garbage" in the dictionary. Apparently, the definition of "garbage" is the sound quality of Pokemon X & Y. So there you go. It makes nails on a chalkboard sound pleasant. Oh yeah, and there's glitches, too.
FINAL VERDICT
And now I present my final verdict on this game. Overall, I declare this game an absolute disaster. It doesn't even deserve a score, what with a story that's predictable and boring, gameplay that eliminates any and all strategy, and presentation that makes me want to murder a nearby kitten. In fact, this might even be... the worst game I have ever play--
Happy April Fool's Day, everyone!
Seriously though, I don't hate this game. I do however prefer Gen 5.
Seriously though, I don't hate this game. I do however prefer Gen 5.